Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Growing Up

I hate software. I love computers and the things they can do for us…when they are working, but I hate software and the pointy-headed, evil, rotten little geeks that write it.

Okay, I have finally grasped Facebook. It is a way to perpetuate High School for those who thought it was the most wonderful time of life.

I was not one of those, in fact I served my sentence and received my pardon and promised to go and sin no more and was never remanded to High School, thank God.

Sure if you were a jock or a cheerleader it was the very best time in the world. Guess what, I wasn’t.

{Note* The damage done by well-meaning adults who tell their children, “You can do anything you want if you are willing to work for it hard enough,” cannot be calculated. You can’t. If you are a ninety pound girl you will never grow up to be a defensive lineman in the NFL. Likewise if you are a two hundred and eighty pound boy, being a prima ballerina is out of the question. There are many things you can and will achieve but they don’t include ignoring the Laws of Physics.}

Now I have nothing to kick about, I was the King of the Nerds. I had a brief case loaded with esoteric books, and never ending supply of arrogance, a complete command of trivia and the lack of self-awareness to enjoy all of it. Teachers hated me, girls ran, boys tortured and parents heaved a collective sigh of relief that I was someone else’s child.

The fact that I lived long enough to escape from Survivor: High School was a miracle.

My pals, such as they were were an eclectic bunch from all walks of life and places. They too, in their own ways were geeks and they suffered as much if not more because they knew they were different while I had no clue at all.

My pal the genius, as opposed to my pal the brilliant but complete rogue, was so gifted she graduated from High School and college on the same day. She graduated from college and law school on the same day and then did some serious study to get her M.D.

My rogue pal went to Viet Nam like a good patriot, but he served his time much like a sitcom actor, he just kept doing things he wasn’t supposed to but they were so brilliant that the Brass had to let him skate cause they wanted him to keep doing it.

I could go on about my pal the driver or my pal the Caber Toss champion, but you don’t know them and wouldn’t care.

They came from everywhere and went to everywhere and I hear when they think to call or write. Yes, these guys are literate, not an i-anything among them and they still write longhand without a teacher present.

But in High School they couldn’t get noticed if they pulled a fire alarm!

Now I guess Mark Zuckerberg was one of us, but unlike me he seems to have longed to be one of the “In-Crowd”. He found a way to make High School last for a lifetime. That’s all Facebook is, its high school society brought to the internet. What’s the object of Facebook? To be Friended. How do you do that? Well, if you are Lindsey Lowbrow you post nekkid pictures, if you are Kim Kardashian you post nekkid pictures if you are Brad Pitt you post nekkid pictures of Angelina Jolie and if you are Angelina Jolie you post pictures of whatever world charity event you are doing this week. The whole point is to have as many “friends” as you can. Hmmmmmmmmmm, just like High School.

So now Zuckerberg has added an organ donor gadget to Facebook so he can say he’s socially conscious. And I’m sure it will do some good. But so does Angelina Jolie and you won’t find her on Jennifer Aniston’s Christmas card list.

Tell you what, instead of spending that time reliving the worst possible years of your life in a society which values good looks and athletic ability and despises art and creativity, why not spend your time with artists?

Now it is true, like unicorns they are hard to track down, but the rewards are wonderful, intelligent conversation, fantastic abilities and incredible visions only they can see and if you are lucky share with you. Now isn’t that more interesting than counting friends online?

This community has so many gifted artists; you won’t have to look long. You could go to the art connection and hang for a while, you might even find something to fire your passion and decide to go back to the studio and create.

You could go to City Subs and get lunch and see Curt Hitch’s works. Yeppers even in the sub shop there’s a wealth of art.

You could stop at the Black Market Gourmet and get food for the inner man, inspiration for the soul and music to sooth your savage breast. (Really, I had no idea that they were savage.)

Oh about that software issue, well. I have a laptop old enough to vote I’m trying to bring back to life so that I can store my pictures on it, do a little writing when I’m away from the big box and I’ve been fighting with the network adapter for a coupla days now, which sort of explains why I haven’t updated the blog and I’m no nearer than I was when I started.

Okay, I am but it feels like I’m not. I’ve got USB ports working on a Win 98SE computer, but I can’t find a Wireless Network adapter which will install, get recognized and talk to my gateway. Now they say you can’t get USB to work on a Win 98SE computer, but there they are and if they work then I know there’s a way to get the adapter working, but I haven’t found it yet and when I do I want to install Linux on this old tub but the IBM 760ELD doesn’t boot for the CD so I can’t use a Live CD…

See art really is easier.

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