It's that time of the year and this year, with all of the cheer sucked out of most things by the pandemic, the one thing you can still count on are the brave and hearty souls who ignore the elements, by this I mean Oregon weather, and string up their Christmas lights anyway!
And yes, they still do. In fact there is a movement afoot spearheaded by the indefatigable Catherine Walworth, potter, plotter and all around Energizer Bunny, to get folks to string up their lights in open defiance of the mood, weather, plague and politicians.
And least you of little faith think this is just one more lost cause, there are brave and determined people who have already strung their spirits, hopes and lights right here way before Halloween!
Yeah, I know, I have long decried the early launch of Christmas, insisting in my own Jurassic way that Christmas doesn't really begin until after Thanksgiving dinner when to escape the three hundred and seventeen simultaneously broadcast football games you grab the remote and settle in to watch Miracle on 34th Street and be reminded that Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind.
And that boys and girls is what I have come to talk to you about, the frame of mind. Sure the commercialism of Christmas is horrid, (See Miracle on 34th Street again, “There are a lot of bad isms floating around this world, but one of the worst of them is commercialism.”), and I still maintain that overdoing the start of Christmas be it movies, sales or parties is just plain tacky, but...
See you are the advanced class, you knew there was a but coming, but, this year putting up your lights is an act of courage and solidarity with all of the people who have sacrificed so much so that we could put up lights, the police, doctors, nurses, emergency services, EMTs, Care-flight, Coast Guard and anyone else who I have in my advanced years forgotten, we stand with you and salute you and we do so by putting up those damned infuriating lights!
And we want to capture the moment so that those who have not lived through the Plague Years will be able to understand why we choked up and get misty at Christmas or when Christmas 2020 is mentioned.
And we do it with pictures.
What you though that I was just wandering around? No, not a bit of it, there is a point hidden in here, take pictures, a lot of pictures, take your own house, your neighbor's house and get in the car and drive around and enjoy the spirit your friends and neighbors have refused to let 2020 defeat. And you can do it responsibly, cause in your very own car you are socially distancing your cooties and even while traveling around you are only spewing disease and pestilence inside your own space, so don't roll down the windows and don't litter and we can all enjoy the spirit of the season.
Oh, you don't say? Those pictures you took with your phone are very colorful, but they came out all fizzy and blurry? Yeah, there are some things you simply cannot do with a phone, which is why I have been harping on you for lo these many years to buy a real camera.
And even if you did what I asked and bought a real camera, you aren't through, cause those lights which look so beautiful need a long exposure and you can't hold still for a quarter of a second or five seconds so you need a tripod!
You can do that and there are merchants who will happily sell you tripods for hundreds of dollars, so if you share the same tax bracket with the Kardashians then go ahead.
But if you are a struggling artist, snitching cheese from the church mice to make your daily bread, try Goodwill.
Yes in deed, you'd be shocked at how many people throw away tripods because they have lost a part or because they never really figured out what to do with them and that is very good news for you.
This is my Smith Victor Gold 3000, a one hundred and thirty nineteen fifty-five dollar tripod which some nice person tossed on the rubbish heap because they lost the release plate. Guess what? That happens all the time and Amazon will sell you a part to fix it for under ten bucks. So Goodwill gets ten bucks and Jeff Bezos gets ten bucks, he'll never notice anything that small, and you get a really deluxe tripod.
And it works just like it did hen it was new. Okay, to escape being labeled a fake new outlet I did squirt some WD40 on it but you can't call that an overhaul.
Just look at this heavy-duty, shiny beauty. And it is rock-solid. I used it on some uneven pavement where I had to extend one or more of the legs further than the others and it still gave the camera a perfect balance.
And the pictures, (See the Saturday World Neighbors section page 2) but who's waving their own flag, are pretty darned good. They got printed in the paper just like a real photographer's pictures and they still look good in black and white.
So before you whip out the phone and take another party colored cloud of light, give some thought to buying a real camera and then getting it mated to a real tripod. You won't be sorry and when everyone gets their lights up, you'll be ready to fill your phone with fantastic pictures and no one needs to know that you downloaded them from your camera!
