Saturday, September 28, 2013

Regional Show

January 1 – January 22, 2014 
 Carter House Gallery, Redding, CA  96003

The North Valley Art League will offer two photography shows in 2014, the NVAL International Juried Photography Show and the "new" Regional Juried Photography Show. 
PROSPECTUS                                                                                                                              PrintableVersion - Click Here

To Enter – Scroll to the bottom of the Prospectus
This show is open to all photographers residing in northern California, north of Sacramento -- and southern Oregon, south of Medford. All forms of photographic expression are encouraged: film and digital capture, both traditional and digital darkroom, along with photo manipulation. All entries must be the entrant’s original work, i.e. the capture of the image as well as dark room and digital processing. This does not preclude the use of professional labs for printing, resizing, and film development. Images previously accepted into a NVAL Juried Photography Show are not eligible.

Our purpose is to professionally exhibit your unique artwork in our gallery for patrons to view, appreciate and purchase. Approximately 70 images will be exhibited at our spacious Carter House Gallery and also on the NVAL website. The gallery is located in
Caldwell Park, 48 Quartz Hill Road, Redding, CA 96003.

North Valley Art League is a non-profit, all volunteer organization. Your entry fees cover the prize money and other expenses of running the photography show. Any remaining monies help fund the operating expenses of the NVAL Carter House Gallery so that we can continue our goal of furthering the visual arts in the Northern California region.


First Place -- $400
Second Place -- $200
Third Place -- $100
Honorable Mentions -- 6 Gift Certificates for printing and framing

Entry Deadline . . . . November 4, 2013
Notice of Acceptance . . . . November 20, 2013
Art Work due at Gallery . . . . December 17 – 21, 2013
Show Opens . . . . January 1 , 2014
Reception and Awards . . . . Sunday, January 5, 3 – 5 pm
Pick up Unsold Work . . . . January 22 after 4 pm

Only juror-accepted work submitted for gallery exhibit is eligible for awards.
JURORS: The jurors for the 2014 Regional Juried Photography Show are Ed Beier from Redding, CA, and Bob Grace from Red Bluff, CA. Both men are extremely knowledgeable photographers with many years of experience
Ed Beier works primarily in black & white film, "This traditional approach works well to portray my thoughts and the images that result", says the artist. During his nearly 60-year long experience as a photographer, he has produced many individual shows with North Valley Art League, Shasta Arts Council and Graphic Emporium. He participated in a number of juried art shows, as well as acting as a juror for Highland Art Center, North Valley Art League and many District County Fairs. Ed has been a Photography Show Chairman for Shasta County Arts Council Juried Photography show for 3 years, and North Valley Art League's Juried Photography Show for 17 years.
Following a thirty-year career as a California State Park Ranger, Bob Grace started a second career as a professional photographer in 2001. His work has appeared in a broad range of publications, including books, magazines, websites, newspapers and postcards. He specializes in nature and travel, but has dabbled in other styles as well. His works have appeared in several prestigious international shows, where they have won several prizes and awards. Since 2007, Bob has taught classes and workshops in dSLR photography and digital post-processing. Drawing students from all over the North Valley region, he has helped hundreds of aspiring photographers improve their skills or begin careers in photography.
• $30 to enter three entries
• $8 for each additional entry
• No limit on the number of submittals per entrant
• Images will be juried in electronic format as submitted, with final jurying for awards based on the framed prints presented for the Carter House Gallery exhibit.

ACCEPTANCE NOTICE: Everyone who enters will receive an email notification regarding acceptance or non-acceptance by November 20, 2013. Detailed instructions for delivery, shipping, and artwork identification will be detailed in the acceptance notice.
EXHIBIT PRINTS: All accepted images submitted for exhibition must be printed and framed either professionally or in a professional manner. Simple dark framing with white or off-white matting is recommended. Works must be delivered ready to hang. Maximum frame dimension is 40” and maximum weight is 12 pounds. NVAL hangs with cable hooks, so please use only frame hangers, D-rings or split rings for your hanging hardware.
If framed work does not substantially meet the appearance of the JPEG entry, or if the print quality, matting or framing are not suitable quality for gallery presentation, the NVAL may ask the artist to replace whichever element is not suitable. If the artist is unwilling to meet these standards, the NVAL reserves the right to replace the entry with another work selected by the juror.
SALE OF ARTWORK: There will be a 20 percent commission charged by the gallery on any piece that is sold. California sales tax will be collected.
COPYRIGHT: Entrants retain copyright of all their submitted images, subject to the NVAL Use Rights listed below.
USE RIGHTS: By submission for jurying, artists whose submissions are chosen for the exhibition grant the North Valley Art League the right to use their images for the purpose of marketing the exhibition, marketing the North Valley Art League’s programs and subsequent display on the NVAL website gallery exhibits. Artists grant the use of their image(s) as stated without further contact or compensation from NVAL. Artist’s recognition is provided with any use.
NVAL/GALLERY LIABILITY and INSURANCE: Artists are solely responsible for the cost, care, protection, and insurance of their work during shipment to and from the Carter House Gallery. For exhibited work, the North Valley Art League’s responsibility and liability for any damage or loss for whatever reason will be limited to the cost of printing and framing of the particular piece. Every care will be taken to secure the safety of all exhibited works of art.
• JPEG format
• File size no larger than 2 MB
• SRGB color space is recommended for the most accurate web version of your images.
• Ideally the longest side should be 1,280 pixels or GREATER. If your image is LESS than 800 pixels on the longest side, you may want to resize it using the original, larger file. If you do not have the original larger file, do not try to upsize your image. You are better off submitting an image as small as 600 pixels on the longest side than to distort the quality of the image by trying to increase the pixel dimension.
Please do not use your name in the title or filename. Make sure that your file name (not the title) does not include special characters: ‘ “ ; : { } \ / or any of the characters found above the numbers (@, #, *, etc.) except the underscore and dash.
• Our online entry service has recently launched a new enhanced version. Returning entrants will need to create a new account, if they have not already done so for another organization using the same service. With this new version entrants will only need one account for all competitions/organizations using the service.
• Once you set up your account, you will be asked to select the 2014 Regional Juried Photography Show. Then use your credit card to pay the entry fee and proceed to enter your images.
• To view your images at full size double click on the thumbnail.
• You may edit your entries or add additional images at any time up until the entry deadline. 
QUESTIONS: Email or call show chairmen
Bernie & Charlotte Bryson, 530-221-1993

Friday, September 27, 2013

Art Happenings

Show off your talent!
Paintings, collage, photography, sculpture, pottery, fiber, etc....
If you are interested in having your artwork featured as the header for the emailed edition of Art Happenings newsletter,
please send a high quality image (no less than 600px wide x any height) to
In the body of the email include your name, the title of the artwork and the media.  Please make sure the image is oriented correctly.  Do not include text or watermarks.

Share your art info!
Announcements, accomplishments, exhibits, classes & workshops, calls to artists....
If you are interested in spreading the word about your event or art venue,
use the submission form at or email
Art Happenings is published weekly. Emailed version and printed copies distributed on Fridays.
NEWSLETTER Deadline: Tuesdays 11:59 PST for Friday same week publication.
Editor reserves the right to modify content for layout purposes.

This newsletter is funded in part by a grant from the Coos County Cultural Coalition.

Copyright © 2013 Art Liaison Concepts, LLC, All rights reserved.
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Coquille, OR 97423

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Thursday, September 26, 2013

Easy Lane Frames Play Party

Collage Play Day!with Susan Lehman
at Easy Lane Frames in North Bend 541-756-7638

Friday, October 18th
1-4 pm
$25 per person/all materials supplied!

Come and learn the exciting art of collage or explore a few new techniques! Susan will guide you through creating backgrounds, simple image transfers and collage design basics. You will have time to play with all of the wonderful materials she collects and brings with her.
Acrylic gels and paints will be used; dress for mess!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Uncle Sam Wants You or at least CAM Does

In this community of less than thirty thousand we have accomplished one of the most unique and rare things any small community can, we have an art museum.

Not just any art museum but a real, dedicated, innovative, engaged art museum. And we are doubly fortunate that the people who run it, the staff and volunteers are as dedicated, engaged, innovative and real as their museum and they work like slaves to keep the light on and the doors open.

The Director, Stephen Broocks does more than his fair share in the door keeping and light onning and he is burdened with the same difficulties that most non-profit organizations have, pleasing the Board and begging for money in the form of grant writing and he does all of this with good humor, patience while still maintaining the highest standards and the critical eye so necessary to the integrity of an art museum.

Not so bad for a tiny coastal community at the edge of nowhere.

Just attracting this sort of talent is a major coupe and then finding that the gent has the Moxie to do the job well and still keep his standards up is one more notch on the community’s belt.

And yes, this is not idle flattery or empty praise. I come from a community of thirty-five thousand, ole Gravel Pit, Texas where culture comes in two forms, the Uptown Theater where Disney movies, (Before Miley Cyrus),  played and parents allowed their children to go and the dreaded, forbidden Wings Theater where only old men in raincoats went to see, gasp, shock, foreign films.

Yes, brethren, films in black and white, which was no different from the way films were at the Uptown except these films were in that black and white, and were filled with people doing things you can only see on cable now days. It was a regular Sodom and Gomorrah!

Which made every teenager in town want to get in to the Wings almost as much as they wanted to be able to get a fake I.D. so that they could buy beer at the county line, (Texas was a Local Option state at that time so each county could vote wet, where alcohol could be bought but not served and the businesses could flourish or dry where nothing harder than Welchaide could be sold or served and business was lost to the wet counties where you could serve adult malt beverages and those made from grains and where guys could actually buy a drink if they knew the local politician and could get nominated to the Country Club where all of the wet and dry rules were unimportant cause in a private club you could do what you liked and that made Country Clubs a hot ticket in the suburbs.)

So the second most important goal in the minds of Gravel Pit’s youth, you know what the first most important goal which involved Mary Lou and her Poodle Skirt and just how far would she go in the backseat of the Plymouth, was getting a fake I.D and buying beer.

And you wonder why there was no push to find the backing for an art museum.

Then there was Preacher Odom, the fiery minister of the Calvary Baptist Church who have an open-minded view of art and culture, it was all damned and hell-spawned and would given half a chance drive the youth straight into the arms of Satan and make the country fall from grace and the Soviets march down main street waving the Red Flag and driving those huge Stalin Type 23 tanks.

The preacher thought Norman Rockwell was a pornographer and that even the Pangburn’s Girl was agent of lust and would surely drive the whole country into the flesh pits of Arlington. (The town on the other side of the county line where they could sell and serve beer)

The good preacher once started a campaign to outlaw women wearing shorts on the streets of downtown Gravel Pit.

Located twenty-three miles from Dallas and nineteen miles from Ft Worse you can imagine what downtown looked like and making it illegal for anyone to wear shorts in a Texas summer is a clear violation of the Eighth Amendment. (You thought it was the Fourth Amendment didn’t you?)

So in this atmosphere of cultural openness and diversity there was no way anyone would suggest that the city much less the hard working citizens give away their money for something like an art museum. Such silliness was for the rich and places like Dallas and Ft Worse where they had no decency and common sense.

So imagine my surprise when I moved to Coos Bay, a hard working, blue collar community on the coast or Oregon and found that the good folks had the brains, the insight, the courage and the will to have an art museum in their community. It was heaven.

And the Director, even though he has to daily struggle with the light onning and the door opening doesn’t resort to those annoying pledge breaks like NPR or OPB, no, once a year the museum has a fund raiser and they depend on the art community to get up off their collective asses and support it.

And no, the museum doesn’t ask artists struggling with their own door opening and light onning to give up the few pennies they have scrounged out of the sofa cushions, no the museum asks only that the art community donate works of art so that the museum can sell/auction/raffle them off.

That ought to be enough to get the artists off their booties but wait there’s more. If you want you can donate work to be sold for a 50-50 split with the museum. What are you waiting for? The closet is never going to sell all of the stuff you have hidden away in there. Why not bring it out and let the museum get some much needed funding and giving the man in the carpeted office a break from all of the groveling and bowing and grant writing?

Now here’ the final sweetner to the deal, if you donate art work to the cause you get a ticket to the Fall Fling for the Arts. You were going to go anyway and rub shoulders with the big-time important artists and bask in their reflected glory, so why not get the ticket for work you have already done and have stuffed in the closet/workshop/shed. The rainy season is on us and all of that paper, canvas and Masonite is just going to mildew, so get up, get busy and donate.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Escape From Adobetraz

Once upon a time you could sit down at your computer and open a program and start to work without a worry in the world.

Dontcha just love dreams? But then comes the time when you have to wake up and come back to the real world where the computer may or may not start, the program may open but it will probably crash and the nice folks who write, produce and sell the programs are always looking for a new and better way to stick their hand in your pocket and grab you round the throat with the other and squeeze you till you cough up all of the money you have, will ever have and indebt your children down through all of the generations so that their Mercedes Benz dealers can send their kids to private school on the profits they make when the software guys come in to buy a new Mercedes.

And now in addition to coming up with a new and improved version of the product every two years they have had a brain storm, they will no longer sell you their software, you have to rent it!

Now everyone knows that when it comes to image editing Adobe is THE EIGHT HUNDRED POUND GORILLA IN THE ROOM, and believe me they want to take full advantage of it! They call their new extortion scheme a subscription, but when the guys with no necks and the double-breasted suits step into the voting booth you can be pretty sure that they aren’t there to offer you Girl Scout cookies.

There is no way around it, if you want to keep using Photoshop you are going to have to pony up and buy into the protection racket.

Or sense you’ve just switched away from the tyranny of Micro-Grasping and you have that brand new installation of Ubuntu I told you about why not do the same thing to Adobe and see how they like being left out in the cold.

But there isn’t anything with the power, the reach, the grasp, the tools, the shear might of Photoshop.

Okay, here’s where I tell you I don’t know cause I’ve never used Photoshop. It is just too expensive for this old codger and I’ve never needed all the bells and whistles so I have made do with other programs.

Which is why I can tell you all about The GIMP. This is a wonderful program built for Linux but available to Windows users and very nearly as mighty as the Incredible Hulk, Photoshop.

This will tell you much more about the program than I could except I have been using it for several years now and in spite of a learning curve which is almost as steep as the one Hannibal dealt with getting those elephants over the Alps, it is a powerhouse.

This page will tell you all about how to download the program.

Now I know you remember how you did the download when you set up your Ubuntu disc, so I don’t have to tell you how to go about it. Just remember where you have set the computer to store the file and when you get the green light from Firefox or the all clear from Internet Plunderer, you can go to the folder click on the installation file and let the set up begin.

Now there is no easy way to get into GIMP. It is a huge and complex program and it will take you a few days to understand. That is why it is such a good idea to go ahead and ditch the High Priced Spread and start using GIMP right now.

I have it on good authority that a prominent local artist, besides me, uses GIMP and is happy and completely satisfied. Yeah sure, satisfied with a program that takes a twenty mule team to haul across the megabytes and learn, not likely.

Okay, sure, satisfied is hard to come by but then I have heard that Photoshop users complain about the step learning curve and the difficult navigation, so dealing with GIMP isn’t a picnic but it isn’t any more difficult than getting a lock on Photoshop.

If you just throw up your hands and run around in little circles screaming, “The sky is falling…” there is a book, available on Amazon, (Amazing that one hemongeous retailer makes things so available and easy while the same sort of corporate giants across the way don’t get it at all and take the opposite track and make things as difficult for the customer as possible.), which you can have in your hot little hands in less than a week and then you can learn all of the nifty, neat and cool things which GIMP will do for you.


Now I am trying to get my sketching skills back under my own control so that when I try to draw something it looks like the person which inspired it and less like something Paul Klee or Picasso would have done, but if you just can't draw, GIMP will make it possible for you to create a pretty fair sketch from a photograph, which you can then use as the underpinning of your painting.

And that’s just one of the little tricks an old dog can learn from a new piece of software.

Take a look and give it a try and maybe this year for Christmas the kids can have toys and stuff instead of coal in their socks cause you in a stroke of genius went out…downloaded GIMP and saved the seven hundred dollars or the forty bucks a month their new and wonderful subscription scheme would have cost you and just think of how happy the kids will be with their toys and their little cheeks will be rosy cause the coal they usually get won’t be there and the room will be cold enough to hang beef but they will play and laugh and dance around the tree cause you did the right thing and had money left over to support some other Corporate Pirate.

Everybody say, “Arrgh!”

* You do know that Robert Newton, the one and only Long John Silver, not to be upstaged by all of the Hollyweird luminaries who have attempted the role before and since, Wallace Berry, Orson Wells, Charlton Heston, Eddie Izzard, Lance Henriksen, Anthony Quinn, Tim Curry and Jack Palance, never, ever said “Arrgh!”

Monday, September 23, 2013

Art by the Sea Gallery 3D Call

Art by the Sea Gallery and Studio in the Continuum Building in Old Town Bandon is pleased to announce that David Woof, whose clay works can be seen locally at Triangle Square Gallery in Port Orford, is the juror for their open Call to Artists for a 3-D Sculpture and Small Quilt Show to be held during October and November. David is a working studio artist and art educator who has taught in the past at Yavapai College in Clarkdale, Arizona and at New Visions Academy in Cottonwood. He continues to educate and mentor the arts locally, maintaining a clay studio between Bandon and Coquille.
Art by the Sea is inviting local sculptors working in clay, wood, glass, metal, and assemblage, as well as textile artists, to submit up to three pieces by bringing them to the gallery on Monday, October 7th and Tuesday, October 8th. Prizes will be awarded by the juror and a People's Choice Vote Winner will have a show at Art by the Sea in 2014. Entry fees, size limitations and categories are outlined in the Call to Artists. For a copy of the prospectus, please email the gallery at or stop by and pick one up. Art by the Sea is open daily from 11-5. For questions call: 541-347-5355.

Art by the Sea Gallery and Studio 
175 2nd St. SE, Bandon, OR 97411
Call to Artists for the First Annual 3D Works Exhibition
October 10 through November 10, 2013

Rules of Entry:
Accepted Media:
3D media accepted are small art quilts, glass art, wood carving, pottery, sculpture.

Size Restrictions:
Small Art Quilts - Maximum 3 ft. high by 4 ft. wide
All other media - Not to exceed 30 lb.

Entry Fees:
Non-refundable entry fees:  $10 for first piece, $5 for the second piece and $5 for the third piece.

Prizes awarded for first and second place overall.  Ribbons will be awarded in each category.
A People’s Choice Award will be decided by public ballot for a one month exhibition for one Guest Artist at Art by the Sea Gallery and Studio during 2014.

Artist Schedule:
Art Delivery:  October 7 & 8:  11-5:00 PM, Drop Off 1 - 3 pieces of art work with paperwork and fees at Art by the Sea Gallery & Studio, 175 2nd St. SE, Bandon, OR  97411.  (If shipping artwork, send to arrive by these dates; please prepay return shipping.)

Artist Reception:  Friday, October 11:  5:00 - 8:00 PM, Private Party, by invitation only, for artists and friends.

Exhibit Ends:  November 10

Artwork Pick Up:  November 11 & 12:  11 - 5 PM

     *Note:  During this exhibition of 3D works, the gallery commission will be 25%; please price your work accordingly.  Remember to bring a copy of your biography to be included in the show binder.  Artists who have sold work will be paid by the 11th of November, 2013.

     *Art by the Sea Gallery and Studio reserves the right to refuse any piece of art deemed inappropriate by the gallery.
Phone:  541-347-5355


                                                                                 ENTRY FORM
(Please Print Clearly)

Artist name:____________________________________________________________________________________________
Day phone:__________________________________________
E-mail:_____________________________________________  Website:___________________________________________                                     

1. Title:______________________________________________________________________________________

2.  Title:____________________________________________________________________________________

3.  Title:____________________________________________________________________________________
Please be sure your artwork has your name, title and contact number attached.  Further, understand that by submission of any work you agree to follow all stipulations.  Art by the Sea Gallery and Studio reserves the right to photograph art submitted for publicity purposes only.
Artist Signature:______________________________________________________________ Date:____________________
(For Staff Use)
# of pieces checked in:_____________By:___________________Total number of guests attending reception:__________
How did you hear about the exhibition:  E-mail, Telephone Call, Saw Poster, Friend, News Press Release, Coffee Break, Other_____________________________________________

You Just Passed...

Just to whet your appetite for all things wonderful and magical, take a look at Paula Reis' site...and weep bitter tears.

You have a bare, slight, almost gone chance to see her work in the vivid living color flesh or at least framed and hanging on a gallery wall for two more days and then it is gone forever. Until she gets another show which of course will happen as soon as the gallery guys find out her work is available, but it might be some place far, far away like North Bend or even Reedsport so hurry before it is gone and you miss the chance and besides you want to take a look at the rest of the art and you can't do that unless you go to Pacific Park Gallery.

But for those in hospital or locked up for your own safety or ours,

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Take a Brake from the Game

Football season is here! And that is a terrible excuse for sitting at home while some of the most gifted artists on the South Coast share their work at the Pacific Park Gallery.

Now I know the Hawks are playing and that is something which can make it hard to give up the remote control, but the Jaguars? Come-on, you should have Tivoed the game and gone to the reception.

What reception, I heard you say? Don’t you read the World? Okay, so you skipped right to the comics and missed the story or you were so concerned about who would fall out of their dress on the Red Carpet at the Emmys that you had to get a head’s up by hitting the entertainment page but you know the critics will pick all of the shows that no one watches and are on cable anyway so even if someone did fall out of their dress it wouldn’t be anyone you know and most of the starlets on cable don’t have anything much to fall in or out of a dress and if you have been watching their programs on cable you’ve seen all they have to fall so it would just be a big disappointment and why wouldn’t you rather have seen some great art and been amazed, delighted and enlightened?

Here, take a look at the World’s view of the reception…

Yeah, but it’s raining and the wind is blowing and it’s cold out there, but what kind of duck are you to use the weather as an excuse? This is Oregon, get over it, this is our other season. By my reckoning we are six weeks behind on the rains so we’ve had almost two extra months of summer and there you sit in your fuzzy slippers with a death-grip on the remote control and whine about the weather.

So you claim that you never heard of the Pacific Park Gallery and it would be hard to find and this is not the sort of weather to drive around with the lights on and the wipers flapping looking for some obscure gallery, it would be dangerous and your insurance rates would soar and the car would be in the shop for weeks after you drive off the road and hit that parked Edsel so it is just better to sit in the comfort of your own living room and watch the games. That’s why God made Sunday.

You honestly expect me to believe you don’t know where the hospital is?

That’s right the gallery is just a block or so west of the hospital and in a beautiful building with doors and a roof and all of the comforts of home and there is no wind or rain or cold and you could even get some wine and tasty snacks with your art and have a chance to meet the artists themselves and do some good for the brain that you have been steadily killing off watching all of that football.

The Gallery is located at 1957 Thompson Road inside the Pacific Coast Medial Center which you will have to know about anyway when that sedentary lifestyle of football watching catches up with you, so go while you still have your health and see the exceptional art of Paula Reis, Patricia Cink, pronounced as in czar but not as despotic, and of course Pat Snyder which you know all about cause he is one of the premier artists of the whole area and you’d have to be living under a rock not to know so you should be rushing to find the car keys where you tossed them at the ash tray you use as a key holder now that you don’t smoke any more and are so health conscious except for the sedentary lifestyle thing of watching forty-seven games at the same time every Saturday and Sunday.

The Gallery offer three viewing areas, the Atrium, the Salon and the Mezzanine and is the brain-child of the incomparable Janne LaValle. You do to know who I am talking about. Jan is an artist, innovator, and now Imperial Omnipotent Stomper of the Pacific Park Gallery. Start now and practice your sucking up techniques so that when you get to the end of this post you’ll be ready to fill in the sheet and apply for a chance to show your own works.

And here is the very best part of the deal, okay there are a lot of very best parts so pick the one you like best, there are no size limitations, no fees save for the operating fund donation, no restrictions on sale and no hidden gotchas for the poor unsuspecting artist.

Now I know that you have that 48 X 97 painting of the sunken ship in Charleston harbor that the Long Suffern has been on you to sell, dump or get out of the house and if you are really afraid of the Long Sufferin and who isn’t, you moved it to the garage where there are so many other paintings that you can no longer get the Henry J Kaiser in there, this is your chance. Take a look at the forms, fill them in and see if you can fob… place the work with Pacific Park Gallery.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Can you Ubuntu?

Long ago, in a galaxy, far, far away there was a blog post warning about the end of days for XP.

And you didn’t pay any attention at all.

I know, you are an artists and don’t have any time for all of this computer nonsense. But you see, you have to make time. Computers are used for all kinds of art these days and you will probably have to jump in and use one so you’d better pay close attention cause if you don’t one day soon you’ll open your computer OS and find that it has become a roach motel or at least the home for some very nasty bugs.

When Micro-Jerk ends support for Windows XP April of 2014, all of the nasty little kids with time on their hands and nothing else to do will start writing programs to completely mess up your OS and Micro-Indifferent will just smiled indulgently and say, “You had two years to buy a new computer or upgrade to a modern operating system so you are just SOL.”

Now I know you don’t want to be SOL so let me whisper in your ear and maybe we can figure out a way for you to get out of this problem without spending five hundred dollars on a new computer or spending two hundred dollars on Micro-Sleaze’s new operating systems which will barely run on your old XP computer and you will have to upgrade all of your hardware and when you have done that you will also have to upgrade all of your software cause once you upgrade all of your hardware the old programs which you have been using for years and know all of the ends and outs will not run on the new hardware so you’ll have to go out and spend more money to buy them and then spend the next year and a half trying to learn how to use them so that just in time for the next wave of Micro-Robber’s operating system upgrades all of the stuff you bought when you gave in to their blackmail and bought a new computer or did all of that work on your old computer will be useless cause the new operating system will not be backward compatible.

You know it’s true.

That’s the way they have always done it or in a stroke of genius have you seen the latest con; they want you to pay by the month. That’s right you don’t get to own your software any more, they want you to rent it!

It is a whole bundle of snakes. And they aren’t even ashamed of their deceptive practices enough to try to hide them they put it right out there for everyone to see so that when you scream you are being extorted again, they can say, you knew it before you bought it.

You remember that old Tom Jones song? That’s right about the pretty woman and the snake? ‘Nuff said, so instead of doing all of that, before it is the last minute and you have to panic and do something irrational like buying a new computer or giving in to the protection racket, why not try something a little different.

Try Ubuntu.

Don’t take my word for it take a look at this article from five months ago in PC World. Or maybe you think this is something that would be workable only for computer geeks?

That’s not what the nice folks in Munich are thinking.

They don’t want the whole population out in the streets weeping cause that would cause a flood and then the sewers would backup and cause another flood and you know what happened when Noah had that problem so I think it is very wise and forward thinking of the city fathers of Munich to try and stave off a frenzy of ark building, although it would put a lot of people to work which would be good for the economy, but has sort of a self limiting future and besides there is only so many cubits to go around and you know for sure that somewhere, someone is going to get left out and that’s what happened to the unicorns and that’s why we don’t have unicorns any more and if we could just limit it to Congressmen then it would be alright, but you know some innocent person would get caught up in the congressional web and then there wouldn’t be any more of them and that would be sort of unfair so I guess we’ll have to live with Congress and save those innocent folks.

Now you know that I would never suggest you do something I wasn’t willing to do so all those long months ago, before I was struck down by the medical malaise, I bought a use laptop for fifty bucks.
I did that intentionally. I wanted a machine that was old and slow and had old hardware and would be likely to fail the upgrade test for Micro-Thug’s hardware test. Sure enough it did and I knew that I was on the right track.

The system was pretty obsolete, it has a 40GB hard drive, 512MB of RAM, one PCMCIA Type Two slot, two USB ports, a CD drive and that’s all she wrote.

Now for most new Windows OS’s you’d be hard put to even get it to load much less install so this was just perfect for what I had in mind.

I went to the Home Page for Ubuntu

Found the download page for the Disc and did a download.

You have to Download a Disc Image, now don’t be frightened, The Ole Trawler will tell you all about it, be sure you know where your downloads are stored. Go find the disc image and burn it to a Disc.

That’s not a problem is it? You done that millions of times to submit your work to a show and this is just like that but you only have to do the one click to get it to burn and not all of the “Where did I put the images of those aardvark pictures I need for the Fourth Annual Anteater and Pangolin Contest?”

So now you have a disc, be sure to eject it and label it, black Sharpie works fine and then you can put it back in the Disc drive and close the drawer. Now you have to restart your machine but that won’t be a problem, cause you’ve had to do that five or six jillion times a day cause Windows is so unstable that it gets clogged up and if you don’t clear the registers it won’t run at all so you have to do a restart and wait while the systems loads and all of your precious time goes down the drain.

When the machine restarts you will see it loading Ubuntu, but don’t panic. This is what it is supposed to do and you will be pleasantly surprised cause it will give you the option to try working with Ubuntu before you install it. Or if you are ready willing and able you can just go ahead and install it. Or if you still have some doubts, you can set it up as a dual boot, don’t panic, it just means you have both operating systems on your machine. That way if you just have to have Windows you can keep using it until April 2014 when you have to decide of you want to go Ubuntu all the way, no your momma won’t faint cause it isn’t in the back seat of the Plymouth and the Pastor will never find out what you have been doing in the privacy of your own computer. See, guilt-free.

So there you are with a free alternative to the extortion game Micro-Grifter wants you to play. Now try it, it won’t hurt, it’s fat free, carb free, just free and you can do it and not have to refinance the house for a new computer.

Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode when we learn all about other free programs which can help free you from the clutches of the National Syndicate of Computers and let you build a life without monthly charges and yearly upgrades. And you don’t have to worry that there’s a file on you in some Federal Agency!

Friday, September 20, 2013

Crescent City Flash

Just heard from Crescent City about the photography show, they wanted to remind everyone that the deadline for entry forms and fees is five o'clock P.M. Monday the 23.

Now I know all of my readers read the forms (RTF) and followed the instructions and did everything like they were supposed to cause you know how I harp on doing all you can to make things easy for folks who are nice enough to provide a place for us to show our work, so this is just a head's up for all of your pals who have been living under the rocks around the Coast.

Go rattle their gravel and make sure they know, cause there isn't much chance they have power to their rock and without power there is no Internet and even though hot showers are really nifty, neat and cool, going without Internet is worse than death.

Last chance, you do it tonight and you can still be there for the start of the big-time, important Pre Run!

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