The Night Before Thanksgiving

 

(with apologies to Clement Moore)

T’was the night before Thanksgiving

And all through the house

Every creature was stirring including the spouse

The table was set with the good china plate

And the turkey defrosting no doubting its fate

The children were nestled before the T V

And the parents ignored what the darlings might see.

And mamma in her apron and I with the cat

Had just settled in for a long recipe spat

When out on our lawn

There arose such a clatter

I sprang from the ‘puter

To see what was the matter

Away to the deck I flew like a flash

Fell over the dog, my knees I did bash

The moon was set, no light from the sky

I squinted and strained and screwed up my eye

I couldn’t see nothing

No street lights or stars

Not even the headlights from the neighbor’s old cars

But there to my wondering eyes should appear

A half naked UPS guy

In shorts at this time of year

He carried a box so big and so brown

I couldn’t believe it had made it to town

But there on the side

To my flush of delight

Was the Amazon sticker

A miraculous sight

“Sign here and I’m gone”

Said the UPS man

And I scribbled and scrawled

Made an X like the plan

He’d saved our Thanksgiving

He’d brought out the goods

A box full of pre-cooked holiday foods!

And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight

“I love Thanksgiving, Christmas and all of those days

And I wish that they’d all just go far, far away!”