Dead Give-away

Time to take a minute to think about what you are going to do for your Christmas promotion this year.

Did you think about it?

No? Why not? You have all of the business you can handle, you don’t have time, it’s too stupid to consider and besides you just don’t want to do it.

Okay, but you can bet there is some artist out there eyeing your business and thinking about how they can get the drop on you and take that client list for their very own.

Why do you suppose you get a pound and a half of unsolicited mail in your mailbox this time of year? Could it be because the merchants know that you are vulnerable to suggestion and pressure? You know Christmas is coming and all of the people you love and hope love you are out there perched like vultures waiting for what wonderful and clever things you are going to get them for Christmas. And if that’s the way your friends and family feel what do you suppose all those other guys hope?

They hope you feel as guilty as you possibly can. And one sure way to make someone sweat with guilt is to offer them a present when they weren’t expecting one.

“Who the heck is Aunt Finestra again?”

I heard you ask your spouse, cause all spouses are responsible for remembering that stuff we don’t want to bother with, right?

Now most of the time, advertising comes in such obvious, greedy, venal, blatant packages we can just toss it without taking a second to consider if it might actually have some value.

But you don’t have to do that because you are an artist. You make miracles with paint and canvas. Every little thing you do from a scribble on the back of an envelope to the finest wall-sized canvas is a masterpiece. Think Picasso’s picador scribbled on the back of that envelop which sold for a bunch more than you would have paid for it.

Why not take your art and use it for something to work for you. Now I know that you already have your seasonal cards made up, just waiting for the seasonal stamps which feature your art and cost only a fraction more than the snowflake USPS junk and now how ‘bout something for all of those hard working vendors you’ve taken for granite all year long?

Maybe an ornament for their tree, again featuring your art; how about that bucko? Who says ornaments are only for grandparents and mothers with boys serving in Afghanistan? Artists should use the best tool they have and what better than your own art. You should be sending out tree ornaments, mugs, mouse pads, note cards and T-shirts all with examples of your art. If no sees it how can they buy it?

I suppose you think it’s too tacky to flaunt your art like a common huckster? The good folks at PBS don’t share your opinion. They sell everything they can get their hands on and still do those annoying pledge breaks and still beg for money and that is why after all of the people in Washington who have never even seen an Elvis painted on black velvet have tried to shut off funding for PBS, it’s still there.

We just survived Halloween, but if you want really scary read an NRA solicitation letter. It will make Michael Meyers, Freddy Kruger and Jason look like Smurfs! They never give up and they promote like mad which is why when the NRA rattles it sabers, Congress trembles. You’d think if all the artists would rattle their brushes they’d get the same kind of fearful respect.

So, time’s a wastin’ go to Zazzle today and make your promotional ornaments so that when your insurance guy comes by to drop off another calendar, genuine vinyl covered and looking just like real leather you can hand him something back.