Paying the Bills

It’s been one of those weeks when the sins of the past get called to account.

That means running errands and paying bills which while it makes the Long Sufferin happy but it does not light up my life. But it has to be done.

Especially when one of the local utility companies sends out a double-secret price increase disguised as a bill from one of the other utility companies, okay, it wasn’t so much disguised as it was similar, but it was so similar that it got paid and mailed to the other utility company and surprise, surprise, surprise, they sent along their bill just like they expected to get paid.

This did not however please the Long Sufferin, who sent guess who out in the cold rain to pay up. Okay, so she discovered the problem yesterday when we stopped by the utility company and they nicely said that they would take our money, but could we please find the correct stub so that it could get credited to the right account and not to some other account, cause nice as it is to pay someone else’s bill they could live without the yelling and screaming when the error got discovered and the nice folks who got their bill paid didn’t think they should pay the bill that was supposed to get paid and then there would be an empty spot in the ledger and you just know how that makes accountants go completely crazy so could we just pay our bill and not screw things up for everybody?

So the one bill got paid but that left another unpaid and stubless and that would create an empty spot on that ledger and we’ve already said how that could screw up the whole works so out I went into the cold rain to make everything right and keep all of those holes from screwing up everybody’s ledger.

And guess what, on the way to get the right payment in the right account even without a stub so that I would have to go stubless, I found a bakery.

Now you know that I think baking is just as much an art as almost any other artsy thing so while I was out in the cold rain I had to stop and sample the baked goods just to make sure that they weren’t poisoned and that could cause the whole population to get sick and die and then there would be just no one to support the Arts and you wouldn’t want that to happen so I stopped.

Now I couldn’t take the chance that just one sample would do the trick so I had to sample a bunch of baked goods and it was tough and my doctor would have a cow but what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him, so we just won’t tell him and that way I can keep Charleston safe from poisoning and still stay on speaking terms with my doctor.

But of course you won’t want t take my word so off you go to Crabby Cakes Bakery just two doors down from the High Tide Café where all of you go anyway to hear the jazz and eat until you can’t walk and look out at the estuary and claim that you are going canoeing right after but you know that you’ll never do it so sneak out the door and make a quick turn and get to Crabby Cakes Bakery and take some of that great food home so that you can eat in your living room and no one will ever know that you ate a whole carrot cake all by yourself.

Then when you know that I was not lying a bit you can go back to Crabby Cakes without stopping at High Tide first and buy a whole sack of stuff so that when you get back to the house or the office the animals will not fight over the macaroon!

Okay, maybe get a dozen macaroons and hide one of them in the car so that when the animals attack you can throw the sack at them and smile knowing that the last macaroon is safe in the glove box.