I think half of the reason so many of us get married is not love but to escape dating. It’s just not a fun thing, knowing that you are in the harsh glare of the spotlight. The police do the same thing when they are trying to get a confession; they isolate the subject, put a bright light in their face and grill them till they break. A lot like a first date.
Sure George Clooney and Kate Beckinsale don’t mind, they don’t have to wait in line or make reservations either but let’s face it most of the rest of us will never have that sort of life to worry about.
No the truth is by choosing to create art we have just invited years of painful rejection into our lives.
Think about it, if you made light bulbs no one would ask if the bulb was pretty enough or challenging enough, brilliantly novel or a new vision of excellence, they’d ask if it works.
What about hamburgers? You ever hear anyone discussing the aesthetic qualities of a Mickey D’s? No of course not they want to know if they have enough to get a Big Mac or if they have to stick to the Ninety-nine cent menu.
Now it isn’t just art, no it is all of the arts. This is the only avenue of expression where ultimately you will be evaluated by someone else.
Sure you create art for your own vision and if the public likes it that’s just a bonus...or so you say, but what happens when you submit to a show and get that dreaded letter, “We regret that we cannot accept all of the work submitted…” That means you are out and try to tell me it doesn’t sting.
But no matter if it is visual art, dance, sculpture, stage or the written word some lame-ass muggle is going to tell the world if you are good enough.
Now having been a writer and actor a lot longer than I have been a visual artist I can tell you that rejection is something you have to become accustomed to if you are to survive in this field.
For a writer being rejected in the norm, the median, the par for the course, the usual, the regular, the common, in fact it is so normal that being a struggling unpublished author is what most people think of when they hear writer. And they should. My favorite writing coach, Lawrence Block, a successful writer, says “Write what you like, cause the chance of getting published is so remote you better have fun writing it." That’s the only validation you are ever going to get.”
And he’s right, we all want to be Stephen King, Anne Rice or J.K. Rowling and the odds of winning the Lotto are sooooooo much better.
Now acting offers a real chance for success, if you happen to have the right look, at the right moment, in the right place at the right time. Did you ever wonder why an actor suddenly disappears after making a bunch of good movies? Well, it could be that they have gotten into drugs to try and force their bodies to keep up with the grueling schedule that any actor has to maintain just to stay ready for the chance, when it comes, the there are the drugs to wind down when all of the Ups have keep you going until your teeth have Spanish Moss growing on them, or to learn a hundred pages of dialogue in twelve hours or to ride a pony backwards, ride a motorcycle like Evil Kenevil, or shoot like Ad Topperwin.
Oh, you don’t know who Ad Topperwin is? You’d have to know to get the part and that means hours and weeks of research. You’ll have time if you quit wasting all of those hours between midnight and dawn.
You should be glad making visual art only requires you to become tolerant of occasional rejection.
And boys and girls you have to do it and no sulking, just take your lumps and try to be ready when the next opportunity rolls around.
Nope, I don’t think it gets easier with experience. If anything it’s harder and more bitter and this is where the professional side of your spirit has to take the reins. Get tough with yourself, set your ego straight, keep your mouth shut and your mind open. You might learn something.
But what if after all that mouth-shutting and open-mindedness you still harbor a suspicion that the selection process was managed by a lot of Philistines and Winos and should be turned over to some folks who know what they are doing like Mrs. Henry’s fifth grade art class which at least would have some idea of what REAL art looks like instead of the sack of…opinions you’ve just been handed.
And when it happens again you’ll just have to person up, (Ordinarily I despise Political Correctness creeping into the language almost as much as I do texting expressions sneaking into the spoken language. Verbage should be buried with a stake of holly through its heart and beheaded and burned and the ashes scattered far, far out to sea.), but to claim that one sex has a better set of courage genes is just drivel, and do it.
And you’ll have to keep doing it cause that’s a part of the work. Maybe the guys claiming your piece is dreck are right. You might even take a second look at the piece and think about it. Review is good. (In writing we call it editing and it is a lot like giving up Shylock’s pound of flesh, but it does have to be done and frequently it works wonders). Maybe, like you thought all along the selection committee is composed of half wits and villains and you are the center of the known universe and they are too stupid to get it.
But you still have to get out there and face rejection. Do you want to be an old sturgeon all of your life? (What you expected me to say a sexist thing like maid? Shame.)
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