And you don't want to see the strained smiles, the forced grins, the false gratitude on the faces of your closest friends and relatives, well, okay so on your relatives it would be okay, but for the rest you do want them to still be speaking to you in the bold, bright New Year?
So save your self from socks and go to the Coos History Museum's 2nd Annual Artisan Sale this Saturday from 10am to 4pm and find something that your friends would really, actually like, like...
Catherine Walworth's beautifully conceived and executed pottery.
No, not the dish your Aunt Bethembla gave you six Christmases ago which you use for an ash tray when the people from your spouse's work who are really disgusting and nasty people and who smoke like a chimney and expect you to have an ash tray even though you have made it clear to everyone and their dog your house is a smoke free zone, a dish you'd be proud to have sitting on the coffee table you snatched from the Hospice Thrift shop and refinished with your very own two hands and now tell all your snotty relatives who only buy from Marc Jacobs that it is a Charles Eames original.
This is a fish you won't have to throw out in three days or wonder why you thought it was a good idea to fix dill encrusted salmon at home when it can be had in twenty humpty-hump places here in town and if you get it there instead of home the is no clean up and why did you think it was such a good idea in the first place? No silly not the beautiful dish but cooking fish.
Or instead of dumping your keys in the cracked bowl which you have to hide every time you invite guests or have kin stop by why not have a gracefully designed bowl like, ahemmmm...
Which after seeing how good it looks on the hall table you'll be too embarrassed to put keys or candy in it and cover up the cute bird so you get the old cracked bowl back out to put beside it because you still have to have a place to put your keys...
Just go to the Coos History Museum's 2nd Annual Artisan Sale and stop by Catherine Walworth's table and buy something you will like so much that you won't want to give it up at all and will wind up at Walmart on December 24th buying those old socks anyway.
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