Monday, February 3, 2014

Twits

I’m an anti-social, cave-dwelling dinosaur. I don’t do social media and I don’t understand why any adult person would.

Now I am not anti-personal interaction. I just think if it is important enough to need saying it should be said in person. I’m not even such a great fan of telephones. They are intrusive, annoying and poor tools for conveying information or personal tidings.

I never found anything I wanted to say in 144 characters. If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time you know it is hard for me to stop at 144 paragraphs.

I am not at all opposed to staying in touch I just think that if you really want to contact a person, Skype is a better method for internet communication than twitting. Okay maybe it’s twittering.

Now none of this makes one bit of difference in the BIG scheme of things until you try to comment on something, enter a contest, respond to a news event or just voice an opinion.

Then you discover that you cannot do it because you don’t have a Flitter account.

Now you know what I think of our US Women’s Soccer team and all that they have accomplished and all that they will accomplish and look the hell out Canada cause Captain America is coming and no one will stand between her and the World Cup!

And I happen to think that in addition to being the number one most engaging personality in sports today and the best damned flanker in this or any other league and the bravest mite who had the courage to come out and then go into the jaws of anti-gay Russia and who has the very best hair in all of soccer, Megan Rapinoe is just THE BOMB.

I’d like to tell her just how proud this old, white guy is of her and all that she has done and will do and support her in her brave effort and send her the very best wishes for the upcoming World Cup, but I can’t. I don’t have a Twitter account.

I’d like to enter a coupla contests and when I tried I found the same thing, no Twitter, no entry.

I did by the way have the best entry:

“No matter what you say it was not love at first sight!”

Okay so maybe you needed the visual but I can’t show you cause…I don’t have a Twitter account.

Now the Long Sufferin did have a Facebook account way back around the time Window 3.1 came out. But the load of SPAM we got was just horrifying. Yes, I know there are people who get a coupla hundred email a day and then get SPAM but I am a hermit coach and when I get fifteen email in my inbox I panic. (I suppose I should consult The Dreaded Grammarian about how to pluralize email. Is it emails which looks and sounds horrible but then so does grow when what the person means is expand or enlarge, or is it the nicer sounding and Latinized email as in octopi which they are a lot like and the only real difference is if you have fifteen octopi in your inbox you have another whole different kind of problem which probably is best left to the Coast Guard.)

Now there is nothing wrong with twatting or bookfacing or Linkining if that is what you enjoy doing, Lord knows there are people who buy Lexus and believe they are getting a luxury car when all they are getting is a Toyota with changed name plates but if spending an extra twenty-five thousand to buy the same thing the neighbor next door has in the plain wrapper you should go ahead. (People who but Lamborghinis thinking they are getting a high-speed sports car are just to be pitied and best not say anything further.)

But when exercising your right not to be a lemming, no matter how good that cliff by the sea looks and there are plenty of days when it looks really, really good is a reason to be excluded that is just too much.

You know I have railed against camera makers who think that an eleven hundred dollar camera is an entry level item and you know I think that failing to husband your resources is not only a crime but will eventually cause a serious rupture in your ability to create, but I am here to tell you that not wanting to Twit or Face or Link is not a crime and should not be punishable by exile to the technological leper colony.

Sure since most of the folks like to Twat or Book or In they should and I hope that they find it rewarding and get to enjoy it on a regular basis. I suspect that all that online socializing is not going to be helpful in establishing good work habits but then we all ready knew I was a dinosaur so this should come as no big shock. But I think excluding the people who don’t find it enjoyable, fun or engaging is spiteful and petty. And it eliminates a whole section of the population that might just become your fan, if only they could get in touch, vote, see or read what you have to say.

I won’t stop urging the Capt’n on to victory and I won’t stop favoring the Megan Mighty-Mite and I won’t stop entering everything I can find a way to enter. It will just be harder and maybe some places won’t have the pleasure of my work.

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