Friday, January 11, 2013

First, You Gotta Have a Plan

You should have been thinking about this twelve months ago.

Valentines silly.

I know, with Christmas just before and Thanksgiving and Halloween before that you are too exhausted to think about anything right now. But if you don’t you’ll miss a chance to get your art work out into the market place.

Yes, I understand, you are a serious artist and do not pander to the commercial sector.

So you are also a poor artist?

Crass as it seems there is just no excuse for letting a holiday slip by without having some sort of art ready.

No, you do not have to do hearts and lace. Pangburn’s has that end of the market pretty well covered. But you should find something in your body of work which can be promoted as a Valentine’s gift.

Because we spend almost as much on Valentine’s gifts as we don on Christmas gifts. Now Halloween is the Nations second most popular holiday and we go in for it in a big way, but that way isn’t about gifts. It’s about having adult fun even if that means acting like a kid for one night.

But Valentine’s is about remembering the people who made your heart ache, throb, or even skip a beat. You can find them everywhere, wives, girlfriends, even that ole thing on the couch waiting desperately for March Madness with the remote clutched in his hot, hairy hand.

So what have you got that you can re-theme for Valentines?

No, you don’t have to try to out Norman Rockwell Norman Rockwell. Once again, Norman has that market pretty much sown up. But you might be able to take one of Norman’s brilliant images and make it into a collage, painting, sculpture which would fill the heart of any real red, white and blue blooded, American girl, (I know you are all women and capable of doing anything a man can do and walking on the moon while frying eggs in a pan and singing Helen Reddy’s I Am Woman but really it just sounds awful to say full grown woman in this sentence, so let’s avoid the Political Correctness and just this once be happy with girl, not in the immature and unformed sense, but in the blossoming and zaftig sense.) {Lovely Hungarian word zaftig, means ripe and ready to pluck which sounds so much better than grown up.}

You know ole Norman did the original Rosie the Riveter. His Rosie is a working gal with a sandwich and a steam hammer and just about as hot, happy, cool and clever as any returning soldier could want. Maybe that would be the image to start with?



What about Howard Chandler Christy’s “Gee I Wish I Were a Man” poster? Pretty cute gal in a sailor suit which as I recall was just the Bee’s Knees a few years back, you could do worse than start there.



Take a look around you; there are plenty of things that speak of being together with people of importance. There are new baby jaguars born at the Milwaukee zoo. Ya just can’t beat furry animals for saying mushy stuff and when they are babies and this cute well, here just ain’t much better for the day when everyone is in love.

I’m not big on fish except with lemon butter and maybe some tarter sauce, (I happen to have a great receipt which I could be talked into sharing), but Jean Kyle’s mystical goldfish floating in those emerald seas her canvases are so beautifully full of might just be the right trick for a different way to bring in the day of hearts and flowers.

Dutch Mostert does lovely achingly, hauntingly beautiful boats on the water and washed ashore. They conjure up all sorts of feelings of emptiness and isolation which is what this one day is supposed to be about ending. Why not offer a bit of mood for the moment?

Speaking of moods have you taken a look at S.L. Donaldson’s site? There are landscape bleak and desolate as any moor ole Sherlock might be games afooting across and still filled with a beauty which only the emptiness of Nature can bring.

You could if you so desire go to Zazzle and pick out something fun and original like a mug from some guy named Miranda or maybe a ball cap by the aforementioned S. L. Donaldson. And there are lots of others there with ideas grand and ridiculous so maybe a few minutes spent grazing through the offerings isn’t such a bad idea.


And one last thing, you wouldn’t be in this mess if you’d done what I suggested and started planning last January so that the spring holidays wouldn’t surprise you.

Tell you what; it’s not too late to make a New Year’s resolution. Let’s all agree to start right this minute planning what we’ll do for Valentines next year. You could even dial back the calendar and start with Halloween. Normal lead time is six months and it would only be about three months early to hit the drawing board for next October. If you go ahead and lay out your plans for the winter holidays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s, and St Paddy’s you’ll be so far ahead that this time next year you’ll be kicked back with your feet up and a big cigar…okay so I got carried away with the image, smoking is bad for you and you shouldn’t do it and I can tell you as a guy who gave up because his gall bladder blew up and he couldn’t for so long that when he could he didn’t want to that it is the best thing for your health and Lord how I miss it every single day but that’s just my weak-will sense of duty so you’ll do much better and won’t be stricken with pangs of remorse and longing. Oh yes, instead of a big cigar how ‘bout a steaming cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain estate grown coffee freshly ground and brewed in your single shot espresso machine?

That can be you, if you start now and plan ahead. Me, I can always rely on my guys for the right image.


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